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Family & Friends
As a friend or relative of someone with impaired vision you play a key role in helping the person adjust to that condition. You are equally important as a partner in the process of vision rehabilitation.
Whether the problem occurs suddenly or gradually, it is bound to cause stress, anxiety, and vision-related physical limitations such as writing or driving. An understanding, supportive circle of friends and relatives can provide the foundation for building a "redesigned" life. The family's attitude can greatly influence the course of action.
If you consider the person's vision impairment in terms of a problem or series of problems (as opposed to a tragic event), the next logical step is to seek solutions.
The thought itself is empowering; it assumes that there are answers to be found.
The next step is to approach it as a team effort, with planning and decision making in the hands of the visually impaired person, assisted by others in the group plus specialists in the vision rehabilitation field.
Keep in mind that the most valuable help you can give is:
· Encouraging self-reliance
· Building self-confidence
· Recognizing progress
· Avoiding overprotectiveness
This section of AFB's web site includes a wide range of information about where to find professional help for a friend or relative and how to give emotional and practical support to that person.
SOURCE: Afb's Website
Comments by Alvaro Gutierrez (www.lowvisionfriends.com Founder)
Often people ask me how does your family deal with you? how your low vision affects the way they "see" you?
Well, there is no question that has been difficult for them, especially sometimes, when i am working late in a meeting, my cellphone will ring several times and you can bet it's my Mother asking if i am ok, where i am and who will bring me home. And i think being that a bit too much sometimes, it is important. I mean, yeah, i am a very independent guy and my low vision disease makes me the same guy i always was, but let's face it, we may need help once in awhile and a call to know how you are doing will bring comfort to you.
I advice parents and brothers and sisters and close relatives to do the same, give freedom, but be aware always where that low vision person is, and althought we low vision people need and deserve independence and privacy.
We realize if you check on us at night if we are not at home, it is because you CARE and you want us to be safe, so call, maybe we can get mad and feel we need more oxygen, but call nevertheless, we in some occasions needs supervision, and need to be reminded that even though some of us who still have a decent vision, can handle many things on our own, we see poorly at night and we are at risk of suffering minor injuries and accidents because of our poor sight at night per example.
I remind parents and friends of someone who has low vision that we are OK, we are often stronger than you all are, we have to adjust to this life, we truly have no other option at the moment, so we mustlearn to be careful with stairs, doors, at a bar, restaurant, at the movies, on the ebach, everywhere...
We just ask from you genuine understanding, some common sense, friends have a huge role to play, they can bring us home from a party, they can tell us where to go and when to be aware of a stair step, help us catch a cab, take a bus, they can do certain things the family can't as friends can't do certain things family can.
You all know, we, young people need our space, as you did when you were our age, so, friends are very important, they share a lot of time with us, they know us, they will help us and they will understand how hard it is for a young person to have a low vision problem.
The family has to think how to "adapt" to us, i mean, we deal with alot, and sometimes family tends to think they deal with more, they cry and get depressed because their son or daughter has low vision, without realizing we are the oens who suffer from it and whose life ahs changed as well.
We know you love us but instead of feeling that, try to motivate us, do not allow us to get sad or depressed or feel sorry for us, show toughness, we know youw ant to help us, be there for us, by being strong, crying and being frustrated will not make any good.
To understand us you have to first think what we go through every single day and how strong we are in doing so, we need no pity, no tears, but motivation from the people who loves us.
I never think of the bad this disease brings to me, but how i can do the best i can to defeat it, and my family helps, they sometimes do not get it but it's ok, they cannot understand it all, nobody can unless they have low vision, but overall my family always tries and they believe in me, and they show that everyday and that makes me stronger.
I work alot and my father sends me to a meeting at night knowing i will not only do ok at handling myself (because he knows i need to be independent and face life and face reality), but he also knows most likely i will sign the client because my focus is always on my final goal, the way to get to the room where the clients are awaiting me is not my focus, i know that will be achieved by being aware of my sorroundings, but i am focus on closing the deal with the clients, i do not give any importance to the problems i will encounter in the way to the building, etc...
So that is a huge advise for others with RP or Macular Degeneration or other low vision disease, focus on your goal and not in how will you get there, that you will discover as you get it done.
Parents, tell your son or your daughter that you love them and you are there for them, ask them what in the house you need to change so they feel more comfortable, and whatever you do, be very understanding, meaning, listen carefully to what they have to say, ask them kindly how was their day, if the lightning in their room is ok, if they want a magnifyng device for reading, show youc are and be optimistic, i am sure your kid will appreciate it and you will make them feel more self confident.
Family and friends can help us so much, we trust you, we love you, be are who we are because of you and we need your words of encouragement, we need to notice you are trusting us, too much concern shown by you will not help us, will make us more insecure.
We together can make us all live better and think about it this way, no matter how old we are, we still your sons and daughters and we rely on you and will accept your advices, and for you friends, just treat us like always, like before our sight was this bad, we still the same buddies, just don't keep a door open LOL.
NOTE: This is such an important subject that we will add more and more tips and advises from us and from experts and from family members and friends of someone with low vision so others can learn how to better understand us.
We at lowvisionfriends.com know how hard it is for a parent, a relative or a friend to know what to do, how to act around us but we hope all together will find a way to learn, because we need you all and you need us all as well.
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